I’ve heard people say the hardest thing about dating and being a diabetic is the shame one might feel about all the “medical stuff” they have going on in their lives. Others mention that they feel they bring a ton of baggage to a relationship. Women have mentioned they feel scared that a man will see her as unable to bear children and thus run in the opposite direction. Women have also said they have a hard time feeling “sexy” as they look at their pump and the tubing attached to it and them.
I agree and If I had to say what the hardest thing about dating and being a diabetic was, I’d say it was the psychological effects that diabetes has on the mind. Wouldn’t that include all of the above?
Time and time again I notice that the major beef women have about being diabetic and dating is something they perceive or fear someone else will perceive about them.
I remember worrying about how my pump looked with my outfit and eventually discovering from my guy that he never even gave it a thought. He said he just knew it had to be there and understood the role it played in keeping me healthy. He just looked past it.
I also used to feel that because I had diabetes for so many years (now 15) I wouldn’t be able to have children. After all, I do have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) a disorder which my doctor says was probably caused by the diabetes and which makes women unfertile. I made sure my husband was aware of the possibility before we got married and what do you know he was the first person at the church that day…
Anyway now I’ve got 8 month old twins! And believe me, I was the most surprised of all!
Another thing- I used to feel that a guy would literally run away from me when he found out I had a serious disease. This never happened (and I don’t look like a model, mind you).
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. This fear of being a diabetic and dating is 90-some percent in our heads, ladies. What has worked for me is I have faked confidence in myself. Yep, you heard me. I have had all the doubts and crippling worries and yet to the outsider I seemed completely sure of myself and this has lead men to see me and maybe think, “hey, she looks happy and she doesn’t seem sick”.
Of course, I still struggle with the relationship thing and how it is affected by my diabetes. Despite being married (no, it doesn’t stop there!) I still have to tell those negative thoughts to go away or else I find them hurting my relationship.
So I guess my point with this post is just to place a reminder in all of our worrisome minds that we create most of the dating and diabetes drama ourselves and we should just relax, take care of ourselves, and be confident. Those three things will be something our guys will really cherish and appreciate.