Marriage and diabetes, for better or for worse

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Today Alex and I celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary.  Naturally, I’ve been thinking about all our highs and lows within the past two years and can’t help but notice how much diabetes pops up.  I also feel as if time has flown.

We spent our first year as a married couple being pregnant.  By the time we celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary we marveled at the fact that we already had a son and a daughter.  How did we get here so fast?

In such a short time my husband has come to know what I’m like when I have gone 2 days without sleeping (it ain’t pretty).  He has witnessed our children pulled out from inside me during a c-section and so he has seen my insides (can’t be pretty).  He has seen me fall apart more than a hundred times.  Why have I fallen apart?  Well, being a newlywed is stressful, being a new mom to two is stressful, and as always being a type 1 diabetic is stressful.  Put all these together in a short period of time and you get…well, you get one heck of a rollercoaster ride.

If anyone out there reading this is diabetic and in a relationship I want to tell you I know that diabetes strains your life with this person.  Yet, if you can both be strong and decide that love and health are your priority then even the most stressful times in your life can be appropriately highlighted by diabetes.  What do I mean?

Well…for my husband and I, having a great wedding despite my diabetes was worth toasting.

Honeymooning safely outside of the US despite my diabetes was a reason to feel grateful that all went well (even though the airline lost our luggage).

Getting pregnant after being told I couldn’t was like saying “in your face diabetes!”

Finding out that God decided we were going to have twins even though I’m a diabetic was one of the most humbling moments we’ve ever had.  It was like being given a great vow of confidence.

Getting through the pregnancy together sitting on the couch of our living room watching Lost and Planet Earth because it took my mind off of my diabetes is one of my fondest pregnancy memories-it’s also when the babies kicked the most.

Alex got laid off for months after I gave up my career to stay home with the babies and despite our wallet pinch, we felt so thankful his employer continued our health insurance during that time.

Being sick while pregnant with a stomach flu feeling like I was going to throw up a baby while my husband held back my hair, handed me tissues, rubbed my back, tested my sugar, and handed me juice because my sugar was low proved to me how committed he really was.

Having a great A1c despite diabetes has always been a reason to high five and celebrate.

Our entire family tries to eat really healthy in hopes that no one else has to have diabetes and to support how I have to eat.

Diabetes doesn’t make day to day life easier for us or our loved ones.  Yet, I almost feel like it has made life more meaningful and worthwhile by forcing us to stare at its ugly face and consider its consequences.

Don’t let your relationships fall apart because of diabetes.  Instead, let diabetes be a reason to celebrate more and find something special in each day.  Cherish each other more because of the constant threat of diabetes.

The details of how to do that is up to you but, I know you can do it.

9 thoughts on “Marriage and diabetes, for better or for worse

  1. Mithun

    It is like having found out the answer without which your life’s answer script can never be fulfilled. It’s inspiring, especially for me who’s in love with a girl who’s ready to adopt children in case my type 1 diabetes prevents us to have children but will never leave me. I love her more than my life, and I will surely marry her. Till today I was not sure whether I should marry her, whether my Type 1 diabetes will ruin her life? But your story has given me courage. I’ll certainly marry her. Thanks for posting your story. Have a great life ahead.

  2. Vicki Chang

    Dear Sysy,

    This is a really touching and heartfelt article and brought a little tear to my eye. Keep up your strength and faith – You are very brave.
    Vicki

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