I went to my endocrinologist appointment yesterday. I was nervous about this appointment because if they were to find my blood pressure high again, I’ve been told meds will be considered. And I would like to not have high blood pressure or more medications so I was a bit of a wreck. I got up early and fixed myself up more glam than usual. The usual varies according to my mood but I don’t normally wear much make up and I often wear clothes that should have been run by an iron first. I decided to walk into the endo office looking put together, rosy cheeked, and most importantly-happy because when I was little, I’d see miserable looking people at the office and once home, I’d cry my eyes out. It’s not that I thought they looked bad, it’s that so many of them looked sad and in pain and I feared I would become like them. I’d leave endo visits feeling my life was over before it had begun.
After I arrived, signed in, and sat down, I saw a 6 or 7 year old girl walk in with her mom. She was smiling ear to ear and had her hair neatly tucked under a baseball cap. She wore a Nike T-shirt tucked into some cargo pants along with a few beaded bracelets. She was adorable and then I practically burst with glee when I saw her pink sparkly shoes. You gotta love a girl that puts an outfit like that together. When the nurse came and called a name the little girl ran up and said, “That’s me!” The nurse said hello and “What cute shoes you have!” The little girl cocked her head to the side and said, “I dressed up for my endo visit today”. I had to blink away the water in my eyes. The nurse followed with, “But where is your dress to match your shoes?” In my mind I’m cheering “girl power, girl power!” and the girl says defiantly, “This is what I like. I dressed up because I want to make diabetes look good”. Then her mom stepped in saying something about how she has been trying to teach her daughter to dress sharp and clean when she doesn’t feel well or is afraid because it will make her and others feel better. She explained that going to the doctor made the little girl feel afraid.
I was too overcome with emotion to say anything. I was trying to give hope to little girls like her by appearing happy and healthy and there she was beating me to it. I wanted to jump up and tell her she was awesome and her outfit rocked but instead I sat and humbly watched the moment play out. It was a scene that will forever soften my mood whenever I’m sitting in a doctor’s office.
A few minutes later it was my turn and I smiled at the nurse, said hi, and she said, “Geez, you look nice, too.”
“I want to make diabetes look good”, I said.