Monthly Archives: January, 2012

DSMA Blog Carnival January 2012

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I’m barely squeezing in DSMA’s Blog Carnival entry for this month which asks the question:

What is the one thing you are looking forward to this year?

My formal answer is…my health coaching business!  It fits into my life and personality perfectly.  And though I love being with my kids, I do think I’m one of those moms that needs a part time thing to stay sane.  Not to mention, the way the economy is these days…I can totally get why both parents often work to make ends meet.  We are no different.

Now for my secret, locked away answer. My kids will be turning three in June and I look forward to them talking.  By now, yes, they are technically behind.  But, luckily, that’s the only set back that can be observed AND…I feel like it’s right around the corner.  My son talks all the time only you really can’t make out much of what he says.  It’s time for him to stop using “twin gibberish” or “twinspeak” and start using English or Spanish.  He knows both.  Son, just pick one.  I beg you.

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My daughter on the other hand doesn’t say much.  She likes to make a lot of noises.  She can imitate any noise (or action for that matter, she could be a very talented mime).  She can do any animal sound, even an elephant (an advanced one, in my opinion) and the other day I heard her repeating her leaptop’s alphabet sounds.  She can pronounce the sound for every letter in the alphabet.  I’ve heard her say well over 50 words by now.  But she doesn’t like repeating them.  It’s like she doesn’t want to talk, yet.  Weird, because mom is such a blabbermouth and clearly, it’s so much fun.  Anyway, I think she has a pretty wild sense of  humor.  Yesterday for example, Alex encouraged her to say “mama” instead of “papa” when calling out to me.  She can say “mama” and she does say it, but she thinks it’s funny to say “papa” because I’m like, “No! I’m mama!”  We asked her to say “mama” quite a bit and you know what she did?  She spent the rest of the evening calling me “Sysy”, instead.  You see what silliness I’m dealing with here?

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Anyway, the reason that this is something I’m really looking forward to is not just because it’s convenient and fun to have them talk but mostly because deep…deep down I sometimes wonder if my kids don’t talk yet because of my having diabetes or not breast feeding them long enough or not feeding them the right stuff or just doing something wrong.  I usually understand that this happens to plenty of kids and I know it’s common in twins, but on certain days, I find myself scared that somehow I’ve ruined them.  Perhaps with toddler TV shows or by somehow being an inadequate mom.

It’s often an asset to be the type that analyzes situations to death but when it comes to parenting I think it drives a person nuts.  Surprisingly, it’s been helpful to write this post out.  It has helped me realize I just want to focus on making the most of this year by doing things with them like finger painting, howling at the moon, running in the grandparent’s yard, playing with cousins, dancing on the balcony when it rains, and hopefully, when they are ready, having long conversations…about anything.

Why Scary Diabetic Ads Waste Our Money

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Why are ad campaigns done in this fashion?  I thought about it for a while last night and came to the conclusion that campaigns like this, which motivate based on fear, are decided upon in the same manor a toddler falls to the ground in a tantrum when he is so overwhelmed and under-equipped with words that he can’t get his message across.  In other words, this seems like a pitiful move of desperation.

It’s always a mistake when we act hastily and sole based on emotions.  In the case of this ad in which an obese man has digitally had his leg amputated and the point made on the add that portions have grown and so has type 2 diabetes, the connection is brutal.  The ad states that type 2 diabetes leads to amputations.  It can…but give me a break.

Let me put my self 10 years back into my once very overweight body.  For real.  I’d show you a picture but I think I burned them all.  Now, I’ll imagine seeing this ad for the first time and ask myself what I think:

I’m completely aware about my weight, thank you very much.  I’m already scared senseless of diabetes complications.  I know I need to eat less.  I also know that I’m hungry all the time…but I don’t know why.  I know that I don’t feel well and am not nearly as happy as I could be.  This ad just depresses me and reminds me that a soft drink or other cheap drive thru treat will cheer me up for at least 10 minutes.  This ad makes me feel like a baby who has a pointed wagging finger in front of me while being threatened with a spanking.

I had to physically, mentally, and emotionally hit rock bottom and crawl on my hands and knees searching for information that would save my life and change it entirely for the better.  I discovered information online about healthy lifestyle habits.  I began making changes slowly.  I exercised more, I ate different foods, and most importantly, I began forcing myself to change my thinking from overly negative to positive.  Positive thoughts and these lifestyle changes began to slowly help lift me out of my depression, which helped me do what I needed to do-like test my blood sugars and exercise, and shun junk food.  I lost weight, nerve pain in my feet disappeared, I changed jobs, I improved relationships, and I felt hopeful about my future with diabetes.  My entire life changed because of positive information helping me, guiding me towards a new way of thinking and living.  I would have loved a billboard containing a hint of the information I had to dig up to find.  I would have loved for it to be more accessible to me.

The ads that inspire fear in people who are already fearful and suffering do nothing.  NOTHING except harm our psyches even more than they are already being harmed by our lack of health and all that a lack of health leads to.

So I propose NYC and those in charge of similar campaigns for change stop panicking and making ads like chickens with their heads cut off- “Let’s tell them (particularly Latinos) that they better start downsizing their soft drinks or they’ll lose their legs and worsen our economy even more!  Let’s tell them before we’re all really screwed!”  How about we start thinking solidly and compassionately about what really motivates people.  Hire people with diabetes as consultants.  Hire psychologists who can help you determine how people get motivated.  Stop deciding for yourselves that informing people about the worst case scenarios is going to slap them straight into the right actions.  I’m sure that method doesn’t work on you.

You know…hope and positively stated, encouraging information works a lot better.

Logging for Rebels (Guest post)

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Please go to Chris Scully’s wonderful diabetes blog here and check out my guest post for her.  It’s about my lazy way of tracking my glucose trends in order to make the right adjustments.  Let me know what you think!  Suggestions are welcome!

Happy Wednesday to you.

Diabetes Analogies

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A few months ago I read a post by a medical student who experimented with pretending to have type 1 diabetes for a week in order to gain a bit of insight into our world.  She hopes to serve patients better with her newfound perspective.  I was impressed that she even thought to do this and left a long comment adding some things I hope she and other medical students/doctors take away.

Part of my response was this:

“I hope many medical students/doctors read this and take with them your message and this one:

Anyone can do anything difficult for a certain period of time but after a while, a toll does come down on the person.  Can you imagine being in medical school your entire life?  Do you think you might eventually crack under that kind of intense schedule and pressure? That’s kind of what type 1 diabetes is like.  It never ends and there is never a break.  I think if doctors understand this and are sympathetic to this, they can really connect with patients and provide them the compassionate ear they often need before being able to really soak in any medical advice.  It’s a win, win.”

I thought I might use this example of medical school with doctors from now on because I think it’s an analogy they can relate to and make them really stop and think about how exhausting diabetes is.  We’ve got to find clever ways to communicate with them right?

Any other analogies you know of?  Remember George’s?  It’s an excellent one:

“Imagine having to pump your own heart because it didn’t do it by itself. And when you want to sleep you have to pump it slower. For exercise you would have to speed it up. You would have to know the rate of pumping for every activity. Do you think you could do it? Do you think that would be easy?”

What are some others?  Do share.

These analogies are clever diabetes advocacy tools and armor.  And they keep me entertained :)

Logging for Your Life with Diabetes

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If you’re most people, logging is not fun.  It’s annoying in much the same way brushing teeth is annoying for young children.  Neither takes tons of time and they are both very helpful but “I just don’t wanna!”

Adults brush their teeth without fail because they fully understand all the benefits of doing so.  Same with logging.  If you really see the benefit in doing it and it becomes a lifestyle habit, you will be much more interested in following through.

Logging Blood Sugars

The easiest way to log blood sugars is to use a meter that hooks up to your computer and downloads the info which can then be printed out.

If you log manually, here are a few tips to getting in the habit of logging those nagging, yet important readings:

Try to get a small notepad that fits in your meter case along with a small pen.  This way, each time you test you’ll see the pad and pen and be reminded to log your blood sugar and the time.  Use the time displayed on your meter to avoid looking around for a clock.

If you have a hard time logging, do so in spurts.  Log when your blood sugars are acting up for just a week or two.

Logging Insulin

First thing I will say to do is to log basal insulin and tweak it until you get it right.  This is extremely crucial for getting your bolus insulin levels right.  Ginger Vieira’s book is the best source I’ve found on how to get insulin doses right, you can find out about it here.

If you have a pump, find out if there is a way to get your insulin delivery on your computer for printout.  If not, what I recommend is to log insulin right along with blood sugars in a notepad.  It helps if they go together.  Some people go all out and note where they inject or where their pump site is connected at the time of giving insulin, but that’s mostly if you want to experiment with different sites to learn about your personal absorption in different areas of the body.

Logging moods and symptoms

You know, this one isn’t often done.  It’s not an obvious choice or a popular one, but it should be.  It’s a plain fact that stress, feelings, pain, anxiety, and infections all mess with our blood sugars.  So logging moods and symptoms is a really valuable tool to figuring out what changes need to be made.  You may need to tweak your life.  Maybe you need to learn stress management or see a counselor about a nagging emotional issue that’s taking a toll on you.  Perhaps you need to see a specialist about an ongoing infection.  Or it could be that you have depression or anxiety that is truly affecting how you live and act-which affects blood sugars.

The key is to get at the root cause of your blood sugars.  This log is something I really, really, really recommend.  I do it for one week out of every month, alternating the weeks (1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th week).  I alternate weeks because of what I can learn by doing so.  For example, I’ve learned that I feel completely different during the week before my period and that is something I’m soon to discuss with my doctor because of the extreme nature of the change.

Logging food intake (food diary)

A food diary can be really helpful because it’s enlightening to know exactly how much we are eating and also, how often.  Many years ago when I first tried to log my eating for dieting purposes I was shocked to find out how much I was snacking in between meals.  Shocked I tell you.  It also helps to log your food intake in order to pinpoint which foods or meals are making you feel well rather than not.  Thanks to my food diary, I’ve tracked the possibility of a gluten sensitivity and am very thankful for that key piece of information and it’s effects on my blood sugar management.

I think the best way to log for your diabetes is to do it intermittingly.  Unless you love logging all this information all of the time, of course.  If your blood sugars need tweaking, log your sugars and insulin for a week or two.  If you need to lose weight or deal with some food issues, write a food diary for a week or two.  If your blood sugars are decent and you eat well but feel ill or strange in some way, log blood sugars, insulin, food, and your moods and symptoms.  Try to get to the bottom of what is making you feel less than great.  Be a diabetic Sherlock Holmes.

If you hate logging, you’re not alone.  I absolutely hate it with all my heart and soul (ok, a tad dramatic) and many others struggle with keeping it up, as well.  Scott Johnson wrote a great post here about how he is fighting with his logbook.  Read it and know you’re definitely not a bad diabetic or bad person just because you don’t log.  Be creative and find a way that works for you and keep in mind why you’re logging numbers and data-you want to be well and knowledge is power that’s always on your side.

Do you have any suggestions/comments?

Self Esteem Tips

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It’s “Fabulous Friday” again and I’m working hard to focus these days on self love and respect.  Cheesy?  Maybe…but it’s an effective way to get a grip on the emotional problems we have.  And since those of us with health issues like diabetes have plenty of emotional stressors to deal with, working towards self love is very worthwhile.

A crucial element of self love is a strong self esteem.  None of us love ourselves all of the time but some of us rarely love ourselves.  Either way most of us could use some reminders on how to strengthen our self esteem:

- Live with integrity

Work towards being honest, just, respectful, understanding, patient, and compassionate.

-Don’t be a pushover

Always stand up for yourself when you need to.  You are not below anyone and your needs are important.

-Try to think positive more than negative

This will become more of a habit with time and practice and will greatly support your mental and emotional health.

-Set your bar high

Don’t expect too little from yourself, you are fantastic and capable and amazing!

-Be responsible for your thoughts, feelings, and actions

By owning what comes out of you, you will become empowered with awareness and this will help you live a life within your standards and values.

-Build your life around your personal values

Try to work where you feel you’re not compromising your values.  Be in relationships that don’t pressure you to compromise your values.

-Belong to a community that is supportive of your goals for yourself

Like the DOC!

-Keep in touch with what you need and try to get it

Do you need to lose weight?  Start with a plan and steps you will take to get there and take it slow.  Do you need more emotional support from your spouse?  Sit down with them and calmly explain what you would like from them.  Do you feel like your diabetes is out of control?  Ask for help.  It’s ok to feel this way only you don’t want to feel this way for very long.  Fight to get what you deserve, like good health.

-Surround yourself with family that supports you whether they are blood related or not

Let’s face it, sometimes the family we were born into is not the family that we would have chosen.  While it’s important to give of yourself and help others, it’s also important to spend time with people with whom you feel safe and accepted.

-Lastly, forgive yourself.

You are human and will make many, many mistakes before your time on earth has ended.  When you forgive yourself you’re not letting yourself off the hook, you’re just acknowledging that you are worthy of love and compassion.  When we forgive ourselves we find it much easier to start the next day with a clean slate.

 

XOXO

Have a great weekend!

Paula Deen and Her Type 2 Diabetes

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Those are some white teeth ya’ll…:)

I do see how some of her comments don’t help us diabetic people out.  She just said that diabetes is “not a life sentence”.  This doesn’t bother me much because I take it into context and I know she is talking about her type 2 diabetes.  However, I do understand that the majority of the world out there doesn’t know that type 1 and 2 are different diseases (though we haven’t actually figured those details out for 100% certain, yet).  Anyway, the point is that I completely understand the frustration to those with diabetes who say, “Wait just one minute!  Diabetes IS life threatening for me and can definitely be for other people with diabetes!”  I get it.  I don’t however, want to punch the lady in the face for not being specific enough when I know she was just trying to spread a little hope to others.  Even if that hope came across a bit rehearsed.  After all, she can most likely pay for any operation she ever needs of pocket and the rest of us, cannot.

I see the backlash on Paula Deen as a way of our collective society screaming out  and saying “I don’t eat enough healthy food and exercise enough and as a result I am not as healthy as I could be and this affects everything in my life”.  We’re speaking through Paula in light of her type 2 diabetes.  I honestly believe that.  We relate to her.  We enjoyed our processed food and then realized the hard way that those delicious foods are hurting us more than they are pleasing us.  Maybe some of us have gained a lot of weight, maybe some developed a thyroid problem, while others might have developed type 2 diabetes thanks to the last kicker of their predisposed genes.  But all of us who have ate a more or less standard American diet HAVE felt the negative consequences of it in some way, shape, or form.  Whether we know it or not.  You see, that food isn’t meant to be abused and since we’re human, and since that food is cheap and convenient and addicting, the easiest thing in the world is to abuse it.  Paula Deen is just one of us.

Those of us who can afford to buy healthy whole foods vote every time we shop.  If we buy cookies and chips every time we go to the store then we have to know that we are part of the ongoing business for these companies who don’t make healthy food.  We help keep them alive.  Does that mean we should be judged for wanting some treats throughout the week?  As a whole I tend to think we have as much power as someone as famous as Paula Deen.  It’s way more complicated than that though isn’t it?  And I assume it’s more complicated for her than we realize, too.

I’ve heard a few people say that they don’t care what Paula does or doesn’t do because it’s none of our business  I believe people’s actions does affect us all.  So I absolutely do care if you are drinking and then driving.  I care if you are making babies over and over again and dropping them all off at an orphanage.  I care if you are dealing with type 2 diabetes.  I care that you have depression.  It affects you if I have type 1 diabetes and if I use up all my FMLA at work and if I smoke and if I neglect my kids and if I find a cure for diabetes (Ah, we’d all like that one wouldn’t we!).  But it’s not a “just don’t hurt me or mine” kind of caring.  It’s a caring that wants good for all.  I don’t want you to drink and drive because you might hurt someone I love or you might hurt some other innocent soul or…you might hurt yourself.  It all matters.

I believe in something between judging and “live and let live” and it’s caring.

That’s how I feel about Paula Deen.  I respect that she has fans and that those fans cook what she teaches them to cook.  I respect that they look up to her as a jolly country hostess who hugs her southern roots, butter, flour, sugar, and sparkling white teeth and blue eyes, and runs with them all the way to the bank.  But, I also know that if she has type 2 diabetes, she suffers and so do her family and friends.  She is a famous type 2 diabetic that others are going to look to as an example.  It’s possible that her diet contributed very much to her diagnosis.  Let’s not pretend that isn’t possible.  Genes aren’t entirely responsible for type 2 diabetes since in most cases obesity is a factor (another issue we shouldn’t judge, by the way).  That doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve compassion and that doesn’t mean we let her completely off the hook.  But while her diagnosis is her business, her having diabetes is…in an indirect way, our business.  When our society suffers a lot of health problems, we all suffer.  The solution isn’t pointing fingers though, it’s just caring.  After all, the most charming and successful kind of family I’ve ever known is the non-judging, forgiving, communicative, confronting, nosy one.  If we act that way more often as a people, as a society, wonderful changes will come our way.

I think we can say that we want her to be straightforward and sincere and responsible with her position as a famous person with type 2 diabetes and the implications of that.  I think most people rise up to the occasion when we kindly demand that.  Especially if we expect them to with open arms.

As a fellow southern gal, I have a feeling Paula Deen will help us out if we expect her to.  Call me naïve.  The ongoing insults will only make her hide in a closet.  A closet that’s probably as big as a mansion, but still.  We can call her out but do so respectfully. We can ask her questions and persist to get them answered.  If I were her and I read all what is being said online, I’d stick my head in an apple pie for all eternity.  We don’t want that.  We want her on our side.  We gotta stick together, folks.  Diabetes or no diabetes, we’re all in this together.

2012 New Year’s Resolutions

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I once wrote a short fiction story for school where we lived in a super modern society, drove cars through the air like the Jetsons, and travelled to outer space with the same casual ease with which we now travel to a nearby city.  I wrote that this all took place in the year 2012.  We didn’t exactly meet my childhood expectations for the future but that doesn’t mean we can’t set out to meet our own expectations for the future.

I know New Year’s Resolutions get a bad rap.  It’s because people write a list of things they want for the year with no plan or serious steps involved in getting those things.  For the past two years I’ve followed Leo Babauta’s (of the immensely successful Zen Habits) 6 Changes Method.  It’s simple really, you just spend two consecutive months focusing on one habit you want to make, one change you want to implement, and by the end of the year you’ve made your way through 6 changes.

Ana is going to do this with me this year.  Here are our goals:

Ana’s New Year’s Resolutions

January/February Stretch everyday

I used to be on a dance team up until my junior year of high school. It wasn’t until about a year after that I realized how much of an impact regular stretching had on the way I felt everyday. I definitely took my flexibility for granted and now I have to start nearly from scratch to get back to where I used to be. My goal is to reach that point again and then to exceed it. To do this, I’m going to start stretching everyday, just a little at a time because my muscles are so tight right now that it hurts!

March/April Check glucose levels more often

My blood sugar levels have been all over the place for a while now, so one thing I’m determined to do is start checking more often so I’m not in the dark and caught off guard as much. I often get caught in the bad habit of being lazy about checking and assuming I know roughly what my blood sugar level is, so my goal is to resist the urge to do that. I might have to start off using alarms…

May/June Eat less processed food

One of my biggest struggles while I’m away at school is eating well. I’ve mentioned before that it’s difficult to keep fresh food fresh in my dorm and it’s also hard to maintain a regular meal schedule where I can eat real food and not just snacks from vending machines. I’m going to start by not keeping a bunch of processed food in my room where I’ll be easily tempted (aside from a few emergency snacks for lows). I’ll buy more raw fruits and vegetables (in the smallest amounts possible so they don’t go bad before I can finish them) and I’ll do some research on other healthy snacks and meals that I can find within campus dining.

July/August Research graduate schools/programs

I’m planning on going to graduate school to get my masters degree in fine arts, and application deadlines will loom over me in less than a year. As much as the thought of graduate school freaks me out, I have to admit I’m also very excited about it. Two years to focus just on my artwork surrounded by other talented artists? Yes, please. Anyway, I have to start seriously researching different programs and gathering all necessary materials to start applying! I’m going to make sure to set aside a few hours a week to do this.

September/October Educate myself on presidential candidates and vote!

I have to say that politics have hardly ever interested me. I usually start zoning out when people talk about it and because of that, I don’t know much on the subject. With the next presidential election coming up, my goal is to learn about the candidates so I can make an educated vote as opposed to a blind vote or no vote at all.

November/December Post on my art website regularly

I’ve been struggling to maintain my art website since I started it, so my goal for the last two months of 2012 is to regularly update it with photos of my work and posts about things I’ve learned, what I’m doing, my plans, etc. I have lots of things to post, it’s just the discipline to set aside time for it that I lack. Hopefully, the consistent new content will help attract more viewers and make it easier for me to keep posting regularly.

Sysy’s New Year’s Resolutions

January/February  Finish Diabetes Blog Series

Exactly a year ago I unveiled an idea I had to write up a general guide about how to start one’s own diabetes blog.  Then I panicked and didn’t do it.  I started up again the other day and realized that even though I’m not an expert, I can at least share the little I know in hopes that someone out there who is itching to start their own diabetes blog will feel comfortable enough to go ahead and do it.  I wouldn’t mind if you remind me I’m supposed to do this.

March/April  Focus on healthy eating habits

I may have to do this every year but it’s because eating is a complicated issue for me (you can probably relate) and I find that I have to always put a lot of effort into sticking with my goals of healthy eating.  Sometimes it’s difficult because there isn’t a lot of money for healthy food and sometimes anxiety/depression is rearing it’s ugly head.  Either way, it pays for me to spend some time every year focusing on what I really want to eat.  Plus, it’s a good time to learn new recipes!

May/June  Focus on health coaching business

I can technically start seeing clients at the very end of this month but the other day while talking with my health coach, I realized all the different tasks I’ve been up to lately.  And I realized that if I’m not careful I will end up sorely neglecting the things most important to me like my health, my kids, and my husband.  So, I am going to take it slow and focus on balance.  I feel my best during late Spring and Summer months so that is when I’ll tackle this with more energy.

July/August  Write up and send book proposals.

Ok, I’ve put this off long enough.  I was reminded of this quote the other day:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?”

~Marianne Williamson

And it struck me…that this is our deepest fear.  I’m literally more afraid of writing a blog post that people enjoy more than I’m afraid of writing a blog post that no one reads.  And I do ask myself, “Who am I to write a book?”  It’s time to meet that fear head on.

September/October  Focus on diabetes advocacy

This is so near and dear to me and I’d like to put some extra focus on it.  I know it seems I already eat, breathe, and live diabetes because of this blog but, due to the nature of diabetes, don’t we all?  I think it will be fun and meaningful to dig deeper into diabetes advocacy issues.

November/December  ?

I don’t know, yet.  I guess I can’t see that far ahead this time.  I’m sure something will pop up and need my attention by then :)

Wish us luck!  We wish you luck with yours.

Type 1 University Offering Free Classes this January!

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It’s Fabulous Friday where we focus on self respect and self love.  Two things today:

I am letting you all know too late!  But late is better than never.  I just found out that Type 1 University is offering live classes for free this month.  They are a great value and I would suggest treating yourself to one really soon!

Here’s my post about my experience with a type 1 university class.

And here is the website where you can check it out and take advantage of this generous opportunity.

And a question to ponder today:

Do you truly dislike your job or is something deeper bothering you?

Often times we say we hate our jobs when really, we are unhappy with something about ourselves or our lives outside of work.  Make sure you work towards the root issues because if not, you’ll always hate your job, no matter where you work or what you do.

Have a great weekend!

XOXO

Interview with Husband about Marriage and Diabetes Part 2

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You can laugh at the picture.  We’re goofy like that.

Here I interview my husband, Alex for the second time since this interview.  Last time we had just been married a year and this time, since more time has passed, I ask harder questions.  Alex is kind of like one of my heroes- Honest Abe Lincoln and so he answered truthfully here.  And I have to be honest and say it stung a little.  Luckily, love and friendship soothes this kind of pain as well as the knowledge that knowing, at least for me, is always more empowering than not knowing.  My interjecting comments are italicized.

Interview with husband about marriage and diabetes:

If you describe me to someone, do you mention my diabetes?  Does it come up?

I say that you are beautiful and smart. That you are a great wife, mom and daughter. That you work from home writing for a health site. I also always mention your blog and yes, diabetes always comes up.  Diabetes is a big part of what makes you, you. Therefore, I cannot omit that from your description.

Aw shucks…:)

What’s the hardest thing about marriage?

Communication.

What’s the hardest thing about being married to me?

Communication.  A lot of times we’re not on the same page.

(Oh honey, tell me about it)

What’s the hardest thing about being married to a type 1 diabetic?

The worry.  The worry about seizures at night, low blood sugar when you’re with the kids, the future and the potential damage diabetes might cause you.  I have cousins, an uncle, a great aunt, a great grandfather who all died from type 1 or type 2 diabetes complications.

So you’ve seen what you hope is not in my future…

Yeah

Does intimacy get complicated by my diabetes?

Yes it does.  (Said much like a general confidently says “affirmative”) It increases your stress level, makes you more likely to be depressed and anxious, all of which affects your hormones.  Diabetes can help lead to secondary issues like your PCOS which causes you a lot of pain.  High blood sugars really affect you physically, too  Diabetes does a lot to this area.

Since we’re being honest…when I’m really happy with you I do make more effort to manage my blood sugars more.  Hint, hint.

What about my diabetes management could I change to make our marriage better?

You have a killer sweet tooth and it seems like your anxiety makes you dig into anything sweet that you buy sometimes and overdo it.  Then you don’t feel well, are mad at yourself for splurging, and then your mood is changed for the rest of the day.  You’re much happier when you don’t overdo sweets because your blood sugars are better but mostly because you are happy with yourself.

So true…so true…

What about my diabetes management would I have to change to make our marriage much more challenged?

Eat unhealthy and not exercise.  Your blood sugars do so well when you eat well and exercise.  And your self-esteem is great.

Do you think me having diabetes makes me somewhat less of a mother or wife?

NO. (said in an “are you crazy” kind of tone)

Does me having diabetes make it more difficult for you to communicate to me brutally honest things?

No, I just have that problem in general.

lol…yes amor, I know…

Do you ever pity me?

No, not pity, I feel compassion.  I wish you didn’t have this disease or that you had a chance to get rid of it.

Does me having type 1 diabetes somehow make our marriage better in any way?

It makes me more appreciative of good health and of life and it makes me a kinder person.  And I can see that you having type 1 will help our children be more compassionate about others who are different or who have any kind of challenge or something.

Do you take care of yourself more than you otherwise would if I didn’t have diabetes?  Why?

Good question…I think I eat healthier now but I’ve always wanted to take care of myself.  My reason for never drinking much soda wasn’t because I thought it was unhealthy, I never drank much because I didn’t like how it made me feel.  And I don’t like to think about it… but I also take care of myself more now because I feel like I should in case something happens to you later in life.

But I’m happy to do it.

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