Interview with Husband about Marriage and Diabetes Part 2

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You can laugh at the picture.  We’re goofy like that.

Here I interview my husband, Alex for the second time since this interview.  Last time we had just been married a year and this time, since more time has passed, I ask harder questions.  Alex is kind of like one of my heroes- Honest Abe Lincoln and so he answered truthfully here.  And I have to be honest and say it stung a little.  Luckily, love and friendship soothes this kind of pain as well as the knowledge that knowing, at least for me, is always more empowering than not knowing.  My interjecting comments are italicized.

Interview with husband about marriage and diabetes:

If you describe me to someone, do you mention my diabetes?  Does it come up?

I say that you are beautiful and smart. That you are a great wife, mom and daughter. That you work from home writing for a health site. I also always mention your blog and yes, diabetes always comes up.  Diabetes is a big part of what makes you, you. Therefore, I cannot omit that from your description.

Aw shucks…:)

What’s the hardest thing about marriage?

Communication.

What’s the hardest thing about being married to me?

Communication.  A lot of times we’re not on the same page.

(Oh honey, tell me about it)

What’s the hardest thing about being married to a type 1 diabetic?

The worry.  The worry about seizures at night, low blood sugar when you’re with the kids, the future and the potential damage diabetes might cause you.  I have cousins, an uncle, a great aunt, a great grandfather who all died from type 1 or type 2 diabetes complications.

So you’ve seen what you hope is not in my future…

Yeah

Does intimacy get complicated by my diabetes?

Yes it does.  (Said much like a general confidently says “affirmative”) It increases your stress level, makes you more likely to be depressed and anxious, all of which affects your hormones.  Diabetes can help lead to secondary issues like your PCOS which causes you a lot of pain.  High blood sugars really affect you physically, too  Diabetes does a lot to this area.

Since we’re being honest…when I’m really happy with you I do make more effort to manage my blood sugars more.  Hint, hint.

What about my diabetes management could I change to make our marriage better?

You have a killer sweet tooth and it seems like your anxiety makes you dig into anything sweet that you buy sometimes and overdo it.  Then you don’t feel well, are mad at yourself for splurging, and then your mood is changed for the rest of the day.  You’re much happier when you don’t overdo sweets because your blood sugars are better but mostly because you are happy with yourself.

So true…so true…

What about my diabetes management would I have to change to make our marriage much more challenged?

Eat unhealthy and not exercise.  Your blood sugars do so well when you eat well and exercise.  And your self-esteem is great.

Do you think me having diabetes makes me somewhat less of a mother or wife?

NO. (said in an “are you crazy” kind of tone)

Does me having diabetes make it more difficult for you to communicate to me brutally honest things?

No, I just have that problem in general.

lol…yes amor, I know…

Do you ever pity me?

No, not pity, I feel compassion.  I wish you didn’t have this disease or that you had a chance to get rid of it.

Does me having type 1 diabetes somehow make our marriage better in any way?

It makes me more appreciative of good health and of life and it makes me a kinder person.  And I can see that you having type 1 will help our children be more compassionate about others who are different or who have any kind of challenge or something.

Do you take care of yourself more than you otherwise would if I didn’t have diabetes?  Why?

Good question…I think I eat healthier now but I’ve always wanted to take care of myself.  My reason for never drinking much soda wasn’t because I thought it was unhealthy, I never drank much because I didn’t like how it made me feel.  And I don’t like to think about it… but I also take care of myself more now because I feel like I should in case something happens to you later in life.

But I’m happy to do it.

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Great interview! His honesty is awesome! Thanks for sharing it!

Great interview Sysy! Your Husband sounds like a very understanding guy,and I can tell he really cares about you and your Children. As I said on Diabetes Light’s page, I’ve been married to my Wife for 30 yrs. now, and we met after I had been T 1 for 7 yrs. She’s also a non-diabetic, but had a Grandmother that lost a leg from it. She’s been very supportive and never tries to “police’ me! Now if i could only get her to agree to an interview from me! Those were very good questions you asked him, and it was very honest and helpful to others on here I’m sure. i enjoy your writing style and look forward to reading more soon.

thanks for sharing–I give you credit for sharing those personal questions. I like this idea…I might interview my husband! :)

I am just in tears because I don’t think I have ever been able to relate in such a big way to anything I have read. Bless you both for sharing your experience with us!

thank-you for this. as a type 1 diabetic (diagnosed 4 years ago), and married for two and a half years to an amazing husband, this reminded me of how blessed i am to have a supportive, wonderful husband too. your husband sounds like an outstanding person… it’s all too easy for me to forget how my husband must feel, so this was a great reminder. in fact, i just sent him the link… it might be helpful for him to be able to relate to someone who has similar experiences being married to someone with type 1… especially since he tends to internalize everything to protect me from feeling badly… thanks again!

This is beautiful. I would like to add a question. Does he ever worries that you will have a child with T1 diabetes? How would he feel if you have a child with T1? OK its 2 questions :-)

Thanks Riette :)

Alex isn’t much of a worrier, I’m enough for the two of us lol. I think he’d be really sad to have one of our children be diagnosed with type 1 but grateful that because I have it, that we’d know what to do to take care of them.

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