Being aware is the only route to changing what we want to change. Being aware of the truth, of our deepest, darkest feelings, of the reality. This is why fans of meditation rave about it-meditation helps us become more aware of our thoughts, feelings, and actions.
This post I wrote about motherhood confessions was me finally being truly aware of my thoughts and feelings on being a mom. I admitted my feelings out loud and then got feedback letting me know most parents feel this way from time to time. It did a great number on me. I just realized, since writing this post, I have been more in tune with my kids. I’ve spent more quality time with them. I’ve cleaned the house and cooked food in a more efficient way so as to return to my kids more quickly. I had more patience. We read more books. They’ve been talking more (!) I’ve started telling them a made up story every night which is nothing short of magical in the way that it calms them down and sends them off to sleep happily and without a fight. I didn’t even think about doing all this, it just happened. But I know the post I wrote fueled all these actions. I know that by writing the post I became painfully aware of what I wanted to change and then had the strength to do it.
I’m tempted to spit out all my secrets, hahaha!
I’ve been reading about how we shouldn’t lock away the dark, weak parts of ourselves. Instead we should embrace them and acknowledge their presence. That way, they don’t sneak up on us and take over. Pretending that everything is under control can bite a person in the behind. Embracing the part of us that constantly messes up means it’s out in the open and we are conscious of it.
You know how if you say it out loud it becomes real? This is what I’m talking about. Make your “thing” real, whatever it is. It’s the only way to protect yourself. We’re human so we’re going to constantly have a dark side. By being aware of it, we can make the right choices for ourselves instead of living in a state of denial and then getting blindsided.
So tell someone you trust what you’re struggling with. Get it out. Write it down. But be aware. Shame only hides things which should be dealt with. So don’t feel shame. Just bravely face the truth and then act accordingly. This is what we humans are best at :)